Luke Can Say the Words
by junienmomo
Summary: A different look at the motivations that brought Luke back to Lorelai after Emily's psychotic manipulation of Christopher at the vow renewal.
1. Back to the Beginning

Luke Can Say the Words

Chapter 1 Back to the Beginning

* * *

Back to the beginning. That's where he was with Lorelai now. He did one stupid thing and before he knew it, he was alone again. Not only was he alone, but he was surprised by that fact.

He wasn't surprised by Emily plotting against their relationship. She'd made her disdain evident the times she'd met him after he and Lorelai got together. He wasn't surprised by Christopher piling on to greedily make another attempt to grab the golden ring Christopher thought Lorelai would hold open for him forever as Rory's dad. Even Richard, who generally ignored Luke completely, unsurprisingly asserted his disrespect of Luke's existence with "Why Luke, there you are."

Luke was surprised when he found himself in a cab on its way from Hartford to Stars Hollow. After blindly running out of the vow renewal, he'd scrawled a brief note on the Hello Kitty notepad Lorelai left in her unlocked Jeep, letting her know he'd gone home via taxicab.

Still confused and hurt by Christopher's proclamation of Luke being Lorelai's "for now" guy, he stood stupidly on the street in front of the diner. He could hear Caesar's music and see the light on in the diner's kitchen. He needed to be anywhere but here.

He couldn't go to Lorelai's. What if Christopher followed her there? What if Christopher managed to convince her that Luke's "for now" was over? He couldn't face that tonight. He needed to be alone if he had to prepare for the worst.

Completely missing the irony his subconscious played on his brain, Luke made a beeline to the Black, White and Read movie theater. Rejecting Kirk's offer of chocolate-covered beef jerky or some insane poison like that, he made his way up the stairs, where he didn't have to stand in line to buy Lorelai's snacks, and didn't have to squish the cushions before the movie started, and didn't have to lift his right arm to place it over her shoulders as they fluidly cuddled in the middle of Big Red, the sofa that always seemed to be available just for them.

He sat there, on the cold sofa. The darkness overwhelmed his senses and he stared unseeingly at the screen while the insults of the Gilmores, Christopher's arrogance, the stares of the country club members and the words overtook his ability to process. Then the words came pounding back into his head.

" _Rustic._ _"_

" _Lorelai and I belong together. Everyone knows it! I know it, Emily knows it!"_

" _I had a friend who ate at a diner once and the next day she dropped dead. Her family considered suing the place but there's nothing to get from these people. A couple of stools and a toaster."_

The cushion on Big Red sagged and suddenly Lorelai was next to him, trying to break through his curtain of despair.

Subconsciously, Luke had come here to the movie theater because he knew she felt comfortable here. That they had shared countless makeout sessions here. They had refined their banter to a high art here on this sofa, her teasing him, him sharpening his sarcasm, all of this between hugs and kisses and touches which had created an intimacy he'd never known. Where he knew she loved him, even though she'd never said it.

The BWR theater was a place where he could keep feeling close to her in spite of the people trying to pull them apart. Instead of feeling comforted, though, he watched his humiliation at the vow renewal play out again in the old movie on the screen. Guy is humiliated by the girl's friends and family.

He had come to the theater with an unacknowledged crazy hope she would come; maybe she'd somehow be able to help him fight through this.

That's what Luke and Lorelai did. They helped each other through their issues. It was their thing, pushing through each other's barriers, whether it was him talking her out of killing the bag boy, or her buying his boat.

She had helped him through many difficult times by simply not giving up. She'd refused to let him crawl inside himself during his dark day. She'd challenged him to take Jess' problems seriously. She'd tweaked him until he expanded the apartment, creating a real home for Jess.

He'd helped her, too. He patiently taught her what he knew about running his own business. He picked her up time and again when the burden of creating her inn became too much. He pushed her to go into her father's hospital room, adding the reassurance that he would be outside waiting for her.

Her willingness to stand by him while he worked through whatever was bugging him had saved him many times in the past. Her talking beyond the point of rudeness broke through his barriers.

Tonight she didn't talk, she didn't push. She said a few words, but she didn't do what had worked so well for them in the past. He heard himself saying he needed time. "A little time to think."

And she accepted that. Lorelai never accepted that from him. "I need to clear my head." She accepted that, too, and asked him to call her when he was ready.

Then she was gone. He'd gotten what he'd asked for. The sofa was empty; he stared at his fingers, missing her already, not understanding why she'd left.

The next day was awful for Luke. He still didn't understand how to deal with the situation, and somehow Lorelai had lost her usual challenging voice, the voice she used to pull Luke off the edge. So Luke sank further into the humiliation.

Lorelai didn't find her voice until they met at Doose's, but by that time, Luke was as deep into his own head as he was on his dark day. Lorelai, for her part, was hopped up on the forty year separation story told by Sookie. So when she saw Luke going into Doose's, she was already so wound up that nothing but crazy came out.

If she had come to him in the middle of the night, like she did the night of the elections, he would have found a word for him to hold onto, a lifeline. Her saying she was all in would have been enough, had he not been completely surrounded by the cacophony of his everyday life: Taylor, the diner, nosy townies who wanted more gossip, and the relentless torture of Emily's machinations.

He walked out the door of the grocery, not fully realizing he'd left again. He had missed the lifeline she'd thrown him between the soft drinks and the canned soup. Instead of jumping when she said, "I'm in, I'm all in," he only saw a future in which they'd be torn apart by Emily, Richard and Christopher time and time again.

"I'm thinking I can't be in this relationship. It's too much." Then he left the market.

After that there was nothing but silence. She didn't come to him to do her Lorelai thing. She simply disappeared.

When her voice came over his answering machine, he thought he had been saved. There she was, with her words, pushing him, calling for him to come and be just what she needed, which was also what he needed.

He practically ran across town to see her, convinced that this was a real chance to get back together. She still wanted him and he still wanted her; that was clear from her message.

When he heard her say the words "her ex" it felt as if a trap door had opened up underneath him and he was falling into nothingness. All because he left the vow renewal.

* * *

Sometime before Lorelai called him her ex, unintentionally signaling that she was done with him, Luke had worked through the issues surrounding the breakup.

The only thing that really mattered was the fact that Lorelai had lied to him. He forgave her when he realized that, even though she'd lied about the meetings with Christopher, she wasn't lying about what happened when she explained it to him. He could see, even looking back on the events at the vow renewal, that she didn't have feelings for her teenage boyfriend. Luke knew that she wasn't waiting for Christopher to return.

He couldn't help hating Christopher and Lorelai's parents. He saw red when he heard Christopher's voice, an anger worse than when Taylor came into the diner with some annoying scheme. He felt the humiliation of her parents' insults whenever he recalled the events leading up to the breakup.

But none of that mattered. When Lorelai called him her ex, she was done with him. That mattered. She was done with him. He hadn't been able to fix it during the time he said he needed to be thinking because he didn't know how.

Therefore, they were broken up; they'd gone back a few years to the time before Luke and Lorelai were the town's Brad and Angelina. The time when the gossip was about when Luke and Lorelai would finally see what was right in front of them.

He corrected himself. It was actually worse than just going back a few years, because now they weren't even friends. They didn't speak at all. Didn't banter and flirt over coffee in the diner. Didn't nod at each other on the street, because Lorelai made sure she stayed away from where Luke would likely be.

Luke tried the same things he'd done before they were a couple. Waiting was his plan; he waited for a perfect opportunity to move their relationship beyond their close friendship. He created opportunities in a non-stalkerish way to see each other: staying open late with fresh coffee on the warmer, going to town meetings, even showing up at the occasional town festival.

This time he waited, but he dared to do more. He did everything he could think of to get her to talk to him again, in the hope that she would give him a small sign that they could repair the relationship. He built the damn musical props. He even took his boat, no, her boat, out of the garage, hoping she'd chase him down and yell at him. He even directly challenged her to show up at the musical, hoping that there they could have one of their "moments," and he'd find the words to ask for forgiveness.

Nothing had worked, and he stood here tonight fruitlessly trying to repair the broken toaster. He recalled Jess' ability to fix the toaster, which he appreciated almost as much as Jess' ability to goad him into action. He missed Jess more than he could say.

Luke grunted as he realized that Jess might still have that damn audio book. That book about love, the book that had given Luke the impetus to finally ask Lorelai out. Maybe there was advice in that book that would help him now.

He should call Jess. He had to call Jess. He needed that book.

Picking up the phone, he dialed the cell phone number he'd scribbled in the contact list he kept in the diner. He cursed as he listened to the 'no longer in service' message.

He picked up the pliers and turned back to the toaster. Maybe tomorrow he'd go to the bookstore and see if Andrew had another copy. Maybe tomorrow she'd run into him in the bookstore and he'd find the words.


	2. The Roadkill Cafe

Chapter 2 The Roadkill Café

* * *

Customers slowly made their way out of the diner, some grumbling about the poor quality of the food, until the room was empty. It was still early, almost two hours before his normal closing time. Luke began to contemplate closing early, again, like he'd been doing several days a week since he and Lorelai broke up.

The sadness etched itself into his face as he slowly began gathering dishes and trash. It had seemed like he never had enough time to be with Lorelai when they were together, but now that he was alone, he had nothing but time. He looked at the half pot of coffee on the warmer. No point in keeping it, he thought, she won't be in.

Just as he went to grasp the handle, the bells rang and he turned with a too-hopeful look on his face.

"Hello, Luke," said Kirk. "What's the dinner special?"

"Same special we've had all day," sighed Luke. "I'll get you one." He headed to the back, made a half-hearted attempt to produce an edible meal and brought it out to Kirk, who had taken Lorelai's stool at the counter. "No, uh, … You know what? Never mind. Enjoy your meal."

"Thanks, Luke." Kirk tasted the mashed potatoes, lumpy and inadvertently salt-free. "You are really on top of your culinary game," he complimented his friend.

Luke shrugged and continued tidying up the diner.

"Sorry I wasn't around for a while," said Kirk. "It's just that Lulu got really mad at me when I helped Taylor with the ribbons."

Luke slammed the napkin holder back onto the table he was cleaning without comment. Kirk didn't often need comments.

Kirk continued between mouthfuls of something vaguely resembling meatloaf. "She really hated the thought of dividing the town and didn't understand the benefits of everyone knowing who was on whose side. She threw me out and wouldn't talk to me."

"You know what turned things around?" Kirk asked.

Luke grunted, leaned wearily on the table he'd been cleaning and looked at the younger man. "What, Kirk?"

"I had a whole apology prepared. I camped out on her doorstep. Every day between jobs, I was there, waiting for her to come home from school. She hated that. Once she even kicked me."

"Lulu kicked you? I find that hard to believe."

"Or it may have been that I fell asleep on her geranium pot. I don't know for sure, I just had an awful bruise the next day." He sorted his peas into groups by size and began peeling the larger ones by squeezing them between his fingers.

"Anyway, one day I managed to get the whole apology out before she closed the door in my face. After a few minutes, the door opened again and she handed me a glass of pink lemonade. I looked at the lemonade, dropped it and ran to Doose's. When I got back, she was mopping the porch and I gave the thing I got at Doose's to her."

"What did you give her?" Luke asked, more than a little ready to grasp at even Kirk-straws for ideas to make up with Lorelai.

"A pink ribbon." Kirk nearly smiled. "Lulu loves pink. When she saw that I wore a blue ribbon because, well, 'solidarity, brother,'" Kirk thumped his chest and pointed at Luke, waiting patiently until Luke weakly returned the gesture. "She got mad. All we needed was a pink ribbon to balance out my blue one and she forgave me."

Luke briefly contemplated showing up on Lorelai's doorstep wearing a pink ribbon until he remembered she called him her ex and if he just showed up, she would call him her crazy ex wearing the pink ribbon.

Bugged that Kirk was able to resolve things with Lulu so easily and he couldn't do the same with Lorelai, he grumpily moved to the window to the kitchen, where he'd left his account books open.

Kirk gave his attention back to his meal, offering the occasional compliment, which resulted in a glare from Luke.

The door opened and Emily entered. Her voice grated just as much as ever, and the words from the dinner he'd had with her filled his brain.

* * *

"You have a wide selection here."

 _A wide selection of roadkill. Go ahead, say it. Rustic roadkill cooked on stoves that are never cleaned. Maybe I should ask her if she ran over any innocent woodland creatures on her drive down here in her Jaguar._

"Your coffeemaker seems to be full now."

 _Not full enough for Lorelai. Never enough for Lorelai, except that one time she ran the counter while I took care of Uncle Louie._

"My daughter and I aren't speaking."

 _Good move, Lorelai. She was always very smart. I could stand a ride on the pink elephant about now. I wish I'd taken it when she suggested it. I wish I'd taken her suggestion to never meet her parents. I wish I'd taken her offer to let me skip the stupid fake wedding._

"She won't take my calls, she won't come to dinner. She apparently wants nothing to do with me."

 _Lorelai is the most forgiving person I know. Can't blame her this time, though._

"I'm sure you know that Lorelai and I have had many battles. Most of them have been because I feel that I know what's best for her."

Luke gritted his teeth as memories caused tears to tingle his nose. Countless cups of coffee late on Friday nights, watching his friend try to fight the pain caused by her mother's words, week after week. _Yet you never learned that she's an adult, never once accepted one of her decisions._

"But Lorelai has her own ideas about what she thinks will make her happy. She wants you, Luke."

 _What the fuck? No one gets to choose what makes Lorelai happy except Lorelai. And she calls me her ex now. That doesn't sound like she wants me._

"She's made her choice, God help her, but there it is. It doesn't matter if I agree with it, I can't fight it. You've won. Go back to her. I promise I will stay out of it."

 _It doesn't feel like winning._

Luke watched Emily leave, but not before she insulted him one last time with instructions to clean the window that Kirk was pressed up against. _Never in my life have I met anyone more delusional than Emily Gilmore. She acts as if she is helping here; as if she hadn't spent her life ordering Lorelai around, taking every chance to demoralize and hurt her own daughter. As if she wasn't responsible for filling Christopher's head with the idea that he could have Lorelai._

 _Tonight was no different. Emily Gilmore said nothing about being wrong; nothing about having abused Lorelai verbally for decades. No apology. No regret whatsoever. Hannibal Lechter was just in my diner._

Flipping the sign to Closed, he allowed Kirk to come back in and finish his dinner. He could count the minutes until the diner was dark and he was upstairs in his apartment, safe from psychopaths like Emily Gilmore. Another chance to call Jess if he could find a different phone number, or to look for that book, just in case Jess had left it behind.


	3. How to Stop F-ing Up Your Life

Chapter 3 How to Stop F-ing Up Your Life

* * *

Psychotic parents were the last things on Luke's mind as he pulled a beer out of the fridge and slumped into his leather armchair. He'd had enough of waiting and hoping for Lorelai to bounce into his life and save him from himself. He had to recapture whatever had pushed him to take action when he invited her to Liz' wedding.

He stubbed his sock-covered toe on a basket next to his chair as he returned from getting his second beer. Giving it a shove with his throbbing foot, the gifted-by-Lorelai basket, which held the mail he hadn't been willing to look at for the past weeks, toppled over.

Under the top few letters was a crude envelope made out of semi-pornographic pages from a graphic novel. Luke snorted at the term that had popped into his head, a remnant of the time he shared with Jess. "Graphic novel? You mean comic book porn for punks who can't find jobs."

Still, he picked up the envelope and turned it over in his hands. Return address Philadelphia. Ripping the envelope open, he unfurled a length of bubble wrap surrounding a small package wrapped in now unmistakably pornographic graphic art pages. It had been tied with plaid flannel and a trout ribbon that Lorelai had bought for him one day. "Always knew that kid stole my ribbon," he grumbled self-righteously.

There was a card. Fine, it was a 3x5 index card, but Jess had written him a card. The front side read 'Happy Fucking Founders Day or whatever damn holiday is coming up in that lunatic asylum you call a town.'

He flipped the card to the back, where hastily scrawled was "Rory emailed me then we talked." "Great," thought Luke, "now Jess and Rory have gotten back together. And I'm sitting here like a dumbass - the guy who fucks up all his relationships; who doesn't have a clue how to fix them."

He delayed opening the gift because he was a lot more excited about presents than he let on and because he was also a little cautious because who knew what that punk might try to send him. He got another beer and drained half of it in one gulp. First Emily, now Jess.

This was one ominously weird evening. Luke decided not to look out the window because that would almost certainly result in him having to cut his eyes out of his head because with the kind of craziness he'd seen tonight he would see Taylor and Kirk in the gazebo with tutus on, making out.

There was a crudely formed cardboard folder over a cassette tape. The label read

Learn to Love

"Chapter Eight: How to Stop Fucking Up Your Life" by Rory Gilmore and Jess Mariano.

Standing, although a little unsteady from the beer, Luke went to Jess' bedroom nook and reached behind the bed for the tape player boombox.

Plugging it in and setting the player on the kitchen table, Luke pressed Play, then gathered his bottles and dirty dishes and began cleaning up while he listened.

"Love!" screeched a voice on the tape, which Luke instantly recognized as Jess' voice.

"Did you have it? Was it great?"

Luke muttered, "I was the luckiest damn guy on the planet. For a while."

"Did you fuck it up? Did you lose the best thing that ever happened to you?"

"You never did pull your punches, did you Jess?" Luke pondered getting another beer, but was startled by a different voice on the tape.

"Jess! No need to be so harsh!" The feminine voice was noisy and much softer than Jess' baritone, but it was also familiar to Luke.

"Rory?" Surprised, he walked over to the table, dropped the dish towel and shook his head. "Rory's in Philadelphia? Why isn't she at Yale?"

Once Jess turned up the volume and she continued talking, Luke smiled. "It really is Rory. Well, I'll be damned." He sat down and paid attention.

"You can hear me now?" she asked. "I closed the door to my dorm room. It's quieter now."

"Yeah, it's good enough. The recording is still running."

"Wow," murmured Luke. "She's still at Yale, and Jess is in Philadelphia, and they're recording this. I didn't know Jess was a computer wizard." He rocked back in the chair, smiling as he began to appreciate what these two were doing for him.

Jess continued.

"You want it back? You can get it back. It's gonna take work. Lots of work. Are you prepared to work hard to earn her back?"

"Geez, Jess, can you make this any lamer?" He grimaced before replying. "But yeah. I'll do whatever it takes," he replied to the tape.

"Is this book for real?" interjected Rory.

"Hush! Don't kill the flow!" Annoyed, Jess went on. "You're going to have to do two of the hardest things you've ever had to do in your life."

Luke groaned. "Jess, are you trying to kill me? 'Cause I'm starting to get visions of Uncle Louie directing me toward the white light."

"Let me tell you about my friend Phillip. He was in love. Got the girl. Loved the girl. But before he realized what had happened, Phillip had screwed the pooch. He let his relationship fall apart."

"Jess, is the book really that lame? Does anybody really talk like that?" asked Rory. "And who's Phillip?"

"Rory, please. I don't know who Phillip is, and yes the book is even lamer than this recording we're making. All I know is Luke pined for Lorelai until he listened to the book. Somehow it got him off his ass and made him able to actually ask her out."

"Aw, that's sweet," she said. "So what's wrong now? Why can't he go to her now? Mom is miserable without him."

"What's wrong now is your grandmother is an asshat and broke them up. Now Luke is so bad off that Lane called me, and you emailed me, thinking I can do something about the situation. Why the hell you guys think this is beyond me."

"Yeah," sighed Rory. "Lane said that he is losing customers every day, and he's not sleeping, so he's grumpy, and it's not getting better. She's worried the diner will close and she'll lose her job."

Luke grasped his hat in frustration. "What are the two things I have to do?" he moaned. "Please tell me, or kill me now."

"Jess, why do you have the book? Did you READ the book?" Rory pondered for a moment. "You did! You did read the book! That's the reason you came to see me at Yale!"

"Aw, geez, Rory, can we just focus on Luke and your mom?"

"You did!" she crowed. "You read the book before you asked me to run away to New York! Aw, Jess, that's so sweet. A complete failure, but sweet nonetheless."

Luke put his head in his hands. "I'm beginning to like Kirk's advice more all the time. Wait? You guys were going to run away to New York?"

"Rory, let it go. We're both better off now. You've got a boyfriend, I've got a girlfriend. If we can finally finish this damn tape, we'll probably become cousins, which would make running away together weird."

"Right," she agreed even as she chuckled over Jess and the book. "Mom and Luke. We have to get them back together. They need each other."

Luke frowned. "I never thought I'd hate a tape more than that last one I listened to, but this one is right up there. For god's sake, please just tell me the two damn things!"

"Luke," said Rory, "I know Mom loves you and you love her."

Luke melted, knowing Rory was on their side.

"And from what Lane and Rory said, you got pissed about something that doesn't even matter anymore, but you think you've dug yourself in too deep and she won't ever forgive you," added Jess, "and now you're paralyzed and can't figure out how to fix it."

"How did he know that?" wondered Luke.

"I know that because I lived with you for a year. You don't even need to ask the question." Jess could be harsh sometimes, but he knew his uncle.

"I'm not going to blush over an audio tape," insisted a red-faced Luke to himself.

"So you just need to do two things," concluded Rory.

"It involves the use of actual words, so I know this will be hard for you, Uncle Luke," sneered Jess.

Rory and Jess spoke at the same time.

"Go to Mom, tell her you love her and you can't live without her and you'll do anything to get back together," said Rory.

"Get your ass to wherever she is, beg her forgiveness, and camp out until she actually listens to you," said Jess.

"Wait, that's like 3, 4, maybe 6 things!" cried Luke. His chair hit the ground hard. "And all of them are exactly what Kirk said he did."

The two on the tape began arguing about which were the right two things to do.

After a moment Jess reiterated, "Go to her now and don't leave until she takes you back. Right now, wherever she is, whatever she's doing, drop to your knees and beg forgiveness. Then kiss her senseless ("Ew!" came from Rory) and do whatever the hell she says so she'll let you back in her life."

As the two continued bickering, Luke stared at the tape, realizing the idiocy he'd displayed when he moped around Lorelai at the musical, hoping she'd start the discussion. He realized that she was still trusting him after all these weeks to know what he wants, and believed he didn't want her. Rory had just told him that was wrong.

"Go!" came a unified shout from the tape, causing Luke to jump.

Grabbing his coat, he ejected the tape, slipped it into his coat pocket and headed out the door.


	4. Say the Words

Chapter 4 Say the Words

* * *

The walk to Lorelai's was short, mainly because he'd run a good part of the way. He kept pushing away the notion of Kirk being right, and also pushed the urge away of breaking into Doose's, stealing all the leftover pink ribbons and sticking them on his coat. After all, that would be an action, but now he needed the words, not the actions.

"Beg forgiveness, tell her I love her, I've been a dumbass, I'll do anything to make it up to her, camp out on her doorstep until she listens. Oh god, words. How can I ever convince her with words?"

He froze for a moment at the edge of her yard when he realized he didn't even bring coffee with him. Recalling Rory's and Jess' shout of "Go!" kicked his ass back into gear.

He bounded up the steps, still not knowing what to say first.

Judy Garland's voice echoed through the walls, reminding Luke of the many times they missed the ends of movies because they were busy making out.

Not just any making out like teenagers fumbling, not knowing what to do, but kissing.

Lorelai could kiss. Soul-exposing, backwards baseball cap brim curling, knock his boots off kisses.

He longed for that again. He longed for her chaste kisses in the diner that somehow left him tingling and in great danger of throwing everyone out so they could go upstairs and keep doing what they'd been doing so often in the mornings that his early suppliers began to tease him for always being late.

He longed for her flirty walk that ended in her X-rated kisses. He longed to hold her in his arms, to feel her laughing and teasing as she stripped his clothes off him or he stripped her clothes off her.

The longing was so great that it was no surprise that he completely forgot what he was going to say when she opened the door. Her natural beauty and moist eyes which surely had come from the movie she'd been watching created a primal urge in him. She was more beautiful than he'd ever seen her before, and he couldn't remember a damn thing he wanted to say. Not Kirk's words, not Rory's or Jess' words, not even the words he'd thought up by himself on the way over.

So he kissed her.

He enveloped her in his arms and she wrapped herself around him, clinging to him, rocking his world with this kiss.

Somehow the door was closed and he felt his coat magically falling off him. Her ponytail was gone, too, as he thrust his fingers into the gloriously thick hair that he'd missed so much, the smells he'd only experienced recently when he allowed himself to sniff her shampoo, still on the same shelf in his bathroom.

He suddenly broke away from her, fell back against the wall, and shouted, "Words!"

"No, honey, those were kisses. Has it been so long you can't tell the difference anymore?" She teased as she plastered herself against him.

She was kissing him again, stealing his soul with every touch, claiming him for herself. He had never in his life been as happy as he was right now.

Feeling both weak and invincible at the same time, he squeaked out "Words" one more time between kisses.

"I'm sorry," he said as his lips worked their way down her neck, landing on her collar bone as he sucked hat one sensitive spot that made her moan. "I've been an idiot."

"You felt betrayed," she murmured, rubbing her thumbs up and down the delicate skin behind his ears. "I lost your trust because I didn't tell you about meeting Christopher."

He touched her forehead with his own. "I know nothing happened, but I still got mad. I still left the party that night. I still pushed you away. That was stupid and wrong of me."

He pulled her tightly into his arms, burying his face in her hair. "Forgive me?" he asked.

"Yes," she said. Pulling back a little, she looked up at him, a watery smile on her face. "Luke, I ..."

"I love you," he said, gliding his thumb across her cheek.

"Hey, I was going to say that," she smiled. "I love you too."

"I needed to say it," he said softly. "I needed to tell you the words, so you'd know."

"Words. You needed the words. Words are good."

* * *

They stood in the foyer, a little dazed by the impact of words they'd never said to each other before. Slowly, Luke began to move, first catching a strand of her hair between two of his fingers. He smiled at the touch, the softness of the curls as they wound themselves around his fingers, stretching, then bouncing back.

In the meantime Lorelai was kissing his chest where she'd opened a button or three. She splayed her fingers across the dark T-shirt he wore, letting her nails draw a pattern across his chest. Kissing fabric wasn't enough and she quickly moved to his muscular neck, her lips searching out and finding his pulse points.

She growled and nibbled at his collarbone for a moment more, then bent down and removed his boots, carefully setting them in a perfect line next to her shoes, just where they belonged.

As she turned to go to the living room, he captured one hand and followed her lead. He was completely unable to stop touching her, even for a moment. She stopped behind the sofa, then turned to him.

Opening the final buttons on his flannel, she slid it off his shoulders and arms, letting it fall to the floor. She grasped his wine-colored T-shirt, pulling him with her as she fell backwards onto the sofa. Luke managed to land off to the side so he didn't crush her, but he covered her body with his own, propping himself up on his elbows.

Instantly their lips met, savoring the kiss of true lovers who had managed to say what goes so often unsaid.

Taking a breath, Luke said, "You've got me where you want me, don't you?"

"I've got you where you belong," she countered, and he agreed. Passionately. With his lips, and his hands and his body.

"I missed this," he said, "I missed us." He ran his index finger down her neck onto her chest, tracking a pattern along the freckles. "I missed these freckles." He pushed her blue hoodie off her shoulders and she extracted her arms from it, leaving only her white tee against his red one.

He kissed her tenderly, his soft lips drawing her lower lip and tugging gently before releasing it again. She curled her fingers through his too-long hair, the curls pointing wildly in various directions.

They stretched out side by side on the sofa, experiencing the feel of the other person's body, making sure all the parts they had loved and missed were still there.

Luke cradled Lorelai in his arms, and he felt the tension in his spine flow away. Lorelai slowly rubbed her foot against his, feeling the long, hard bones of his feet massage the arch of her foot.

As she drew her knee up to slide her leg over his own lithe, muscular calf, Luke began his attack from the top. Lorelai's head rested in the crook of his arm, and he gently distributed the espresso-colored strands over his forearm. He catalogued once again the many scents that comprised Lorelai in the evenings. She'd showered that evening, telling him that she'd been running late for work that morning.

He pressed his lips against each eyebrow in turn, feeling them arch as she impishly grinned before tickling the long scruff on his neck.

"Did I scare you just now?" she asked with fake innocence. "Like, aren't you afraid of the insane spinster woman stalking you all day, occasionally shouting, 'Luke Danes, I love you!'"

Luke snorted even as he relished the banter that was slowly returning to them. "Between Miss Patty, Kirk, and Crazy Carrie, I think the stalking roster is full."

"Kirk said he loved you?" Giggles were irresistible against the images in her mind.

"He's got the night shift covered," sighed Luke. "He feels free to share when you're not around."

He traced a random path from Lorelai's neck through her freckles. "Anyway," he said softly, "I said it first, not you."

Her smile lit up her face. "That's true! They were your words! You spoke first!"

He grinned. "For once I got a word in edgewise."

He ducked before she could swat him.

Then he kissed her again. Tried to show her again how he felt, but once more her kisses were making him weak in the knees. How could he ever think that he needed 'time to think' about their relationship? It was like jumping off a twenty story building while contemplating if it would hurt when he landed.

"Do me a favor?" He asked when she took a break from realigning his world with her lips.

"Mmm-hmmm," she replied as she cuddled closer, sleep beginning to overtake her.

"The next time I tell you I need time, don't give it to me. Camp on my doorstep, hire a brass band, do whatever it takes to make me listen. I don't need time. I just need you."

"Whatever it takes? Can I ring a loud bell?" she yawned.

"Yep."

"Picket the diner?"

"Whatever it takes."

"Sic Rory on you with the Rory face?"

He shuddered. "Yes, even that."

She was dozing off as she mumbled, "You got it, babe."

* * *

He reached backward with one long arm to support himself on the back of the couch. Luke stretched a leg slowly and carefully over Lorelai's sleeping body and just at the right moment, he leveraged his body to launch himself onto the floor without waking her. It was way past time to take care of his personal needs and he was thirsty.

The downstairs bathroom was as messy as ever. He often wondered if it wasn't more of a closet than a bathroom, and he'd never quite understood why Rory and Lorelai referred to it as a magical portal into another location, or what Sookie had to do with it. One pathetically slow, noisy flush was enough for him to add 'toilet float' to his hardware store shopping list.

Rooting through the fridge, Luke noticed the presence of real food, leftovers stored in containers he recognized as coming from Sookie. Lorelai was too thin, as if she hadn't been eating. He knew the feeling. He didn't cook any better for himself than he did for his customers, and he wasn't even hungry most nights because he worked himself to exhaustion on purpose. Collapsing into bed, too tired to take care of himself, was easier than lying there waiting for the sleep that wouldn't come.

Observing that Sookie had obviously been providing healthy food that Lorelai as usual hadn't touched, he pulled several containers out of the fridge and began laying out cheese, grapes and crackers on a small plate. He opened a bottle of water and leaned against the counter drinking deeply.

"Got some of that for me?" asked a sleepy Lorelai as she padded quietly into the kitchen. He handed her his bottle and she draped her body over his before she finished the bottle.

"Eat," he urged, one hand on her waist and one lifting the plate.

"You first. You're too skinny." Lorelai piled cheese on a cracker and tried stuffing it into Luke's mouth.

He pushed it back, asking, "How old is this anyway?"

Lorelai shrugged. "If you don't recognize it, then it's less than a month old. We've been apart for a month." She glanced at him through her eyelashes and saw the pain on his face.

"I'm a dick," he said. "I let you down."

"I lied to you," she replied, crumbling the cracker and dropping it onto the counter. "You being all in didn't include a free pass for me to treat you badly."

"I shouldn't have left that night. I shouldn't have told you I needed time. I had nothing but time in the past month and got nowhere except hell."

Lorelai shivered from her own recollections of the past month.

Luke set the plate of food on the kitchen table and pulled two more bottles of water out of the fridge.

They sat at the table, legs entwined, one hand connecting with the other person's body as if letting go would mean they disappeared. Luke held up a small bunch of grapes, and Lorelai scrunched up her nose. He sighed, stood up, went directly to the right cabinet, took out a box of Pop-Tarts and popped two into the toaster.

"Goody!" she cried and went to where he was standing next to the toaster eating grapes. "You remembered."

"Some things about you stick."

Pulling a paper towel off the roll, he put the hot Pop-Tarts onto it and slid it onto the table in front of Lorelai.

As she waved her hand in front of her mouth to cool the too-hot pastry that she had shoved inside, Luke acknowledged that he had to follow the book and strive for open communication.

"Lorelai, you've been my fantasy for years. I was all in, but 'all in' fell apart when I was faced with reality."

"I knew it!" she said, "I'm too flawed to be loved. I knew it all along."

"No! I'm grateful that you understand my stuff, like the boat or my dark day. I really hate that I couldn't do the same when I heard about you and Christopher when his dad died. That's why I'm a dick."

"Oh, the Gilmore feet of clay," she said sadly. "I'm surprised you stuck with me this long. Buying your boat was a good thing because now I have a place to keep my industrial-strength emotional baggage. I want my boat back, by the way," she joked half-heartedly.

"Lorelai, that's not what I meant at all! Geez! What I'm trying to say is, I said I was all in, but I was all in to a fantasy, not a human being."

Luke flashed back to the discussion he'd had with Jess on this very topic. "I had expectations out of line with what I deserved, hell, with what I want. Lorelai, I love you. The real you. The Luke who became your boyfriend had a fantasy of Lorelai Gilmore, the perfect girlfriend, and that was unfair to you."

"Ok, I'll agree that Luke was a dick."

He harrumphed in agreement. "Finally we agree on something."

"Under one condition," Lorelai added. "The Real Lorelai Gilmore, trademark! gets to have the real Luke Danes as her boyfriend."

"Deal, as long as you remember I'm always going to hate Christopher, even though I know he's always going to be Rory's dad."

"And the imperfect Lorelai Gilmore is never going to forgive her mother for trying to break us up. I don't want you trying to convince me anymore to build bridges. I'm done with Emily and Richard Gilmore."

Luke exploded off the chair. "Oh my god! Your mother! What the hell is wrong with your mother?"

"That's going to be chapters 7-12 of my memoir. The stupid vow renewal gets its very own chapter."

"She came to the diner tonight," confessed Luke.

"Emily? What did she do now?"

"She told me to come back to you. That I'd won you, like you're a prize pig at the fair."

An ice age moved into the crap shack. The words fell from her tongue like an iceberg splitting off a glacier. "You came here tonight because Emily Gilmore told you to? What the hell is wrong with that woman? She breaks us up, then commands us to get back together, like she's a Russian czarina."

"No!" he shouted. "I didn't even speak to her. She's psychotic if she thinks I'm ever going to do what she says."

Lorelai backed up, not yet convinced. "Then why are you here?"

"After she left, I closed he diner and went upstairs. I was miserable, and all my plans to get your attention had backfired, so I decided to come see you, to beg you to forgive me."

"Not buying it, Dr. Phil. Luke Danes doesn't beg. Wait, what do you mean, 'all your plans?'"

He looked at his feet, mumbling, "Well, the school thing. And I figured if I took the boat you'd come yell at me, and I always kept a pot of coffee on in the evenings hoping you'd come in." Red-faced, he added, "I even hoped Mimi might make an appearance."

"You're talking about the plan in which you don't tell me how you feel or even manage a complete sentence asking me out, and this goes on for eight years?"

Red-faced, he nodded. "I didn't say it was a good plan. It was just the only plan I had until I got the book."

Her arms wrapped halfway around her body, trying to prevent the crushing disappointment she was sure was coming. "I'm still trying to understand this, Cool Hand. Why did you come here tonight?"


	5. When Coffee and Flannel Aren't Enough

Chapter 5 When Coffee and Flannel Aren't Enough

* * *

"Argh! Ok! It was the book! The damn book that you made fun of. Except it wasn't that book, it was the sequel."

"There's a sequel to 'Learning to Love?"

"It's 'You Deserve Love' and yeah, kinda. Jess wrote it."

"Whoa, this is big. This is huge. This is Kilimanjaro gigantic! Jess wrote a self-help book?"

"Actually, it was Jess and Rory together."

"I've got to sit down. First Emily Gilmore visits the Roadkill Cafe, ..."

"Hey!"

"Don't get offended at the insults of psycho Emily. She's not worth it." She smiled. "My baby wrote a book. I'm so proud of her, my special little snowflake."

Luke rolled his eyes. "She yelled at me! Rory never yells at me."

"I've got to see this book. Let's go get the book."

"Just a second, it's in my coat pocket." She beat him to the foyer using her Speedy Gonzales moves.

"Hey! Don't tear my coat to shreds! I need that coat."

"Give me the book or the coat gets it," she threatened with a smile.

Relieved to know that they'd gotten past the Emily thing, Luke backed her into the coat rack. He wrapped his arms around her, easily taking his army coat from her outstretched arms.

"That's a tape," said Lorelai, disappointed. "I don't have a tape player anymore."

"Never heard of an audio book?" he asked.

"I never saw anyone in the 21st century who still used audio tapes. How did you listen to this?"

"I don't throw perfectly good things away," he said. "My boom box works perfectly well, and you know I'd never throw out a perfectly good thing just to buy the latest technology."

"Dust off your 'perfectly' ancient wallet and buy a perfectly good CD player, Luke." She patted him on the shoulder condescendingly. "Nobody calls them boomboxes anymore, honey."

"I already bought a CD player. There's one in the truck, remember? You insisted on it."

"Then let's go to your place! I have to hear this tape." Lorelai grabbed a jacket and moved toward the door. She put on her Twlight Zone voice. "We're going back to the time capsule known as Luke's apartment, where eight track tapes and floppy disks reign."

"Floppy what? And we don't have any shoes on."

"Shoes?" she asked. She gasped. "My shoes! How could you let me forget my shoes?"

She scampered off to the living room, calling behind her, "Hurry up I want to hear that tape!"

Luke picked up his boots from the foyer and followed her to the sofa where he sat down.

He smiled, partially because he was happy and partially because Lorelai was babbling happily about the tape and Rory and how she couldn't wait to hear what Rory and Jess had written.

As he bent over to untie the knots in his shoes, he thought about the words. He was happy about the words. Even though he had embarrassed himself thoroughly by confessing to the self help book, that same confession helped Lorelai understand that Luke loved her, and it was clear to both of them that they were back together.

Even more important than Luke being happy was that Lorelai was also happy. A happy Lorelai meant that there was going to be sex, and it was going to be happy sex. Happy sex was Luke's favorite kind, because Lorelai was hilarious and adventurous during happy sex. Even Luke was able to let his guard down and give as good as he got.

Anticipating the pleasure in the getting and the giving, he noticed that Lorelai was on her knees looking for her shoes under the coffee table. She was also conveniently presenting one of his favorite parts of her body to him, so he abandoned his shoes and caressed her lower back, smoothing over the curve of her ass. She giggled in response, added a "Watch it, mister," then continued giving him a jaunty taste of what would come later as she pushed piles of magazines and other clutter around, looking for her shoes. Suddenly a heavy wicker object landed on Luke's still-unshod foot.

"Ow!" he exclaimed. "What's that?" He lifted the basket, a larger version of the basket that had attacked him in his own apartment, off his foot and rubbed it gingerly.

Lorelai sat up, waving her last sneaker triumphantly. "Nothing nothing nothing. Just some mail I haven't looked at lately. Get your shoes on, because I want to listen to the tape and then I want to get your shoes back off again, plus a few more items of clothing."

Luke set the basket to the side before he noticed an envelope that looked eerily similar to the package he'd received from Jess.

"Open this," he commanded once he'd confirmed the postmark was also Philadelphia.

A split second later the packaging was in shreds and Lorelai held a CD in her hands. Scrawled across the disc was the title, 'When Coffee and Flannel Aren't Enough: How to Crack the Backwards Baseball Cap Code.'

"Hah!" she said. "So this is ..."

"A CD Rory and Jess made for you. I'm guessing they figured they needed to work on both of us."

Lorelai rushed to the CD player, slid the disc in and pressed play. As the first sounds of someone setting up a recording could be heard over the speakers, she became nervous and looked over at Luke, no longer joking and confident. What did Rory have to say to her that she hadn't said already?

When Luke reached his hand out to her, she gratefully sat next to him, holding his hand in a death grip.

He pulled her back on the sofa, whispering, "It's ok, sweetheart. We've been through the worst already. Rory loves you. She wants the best for you."

"Mom?" came Rory's quiet voice over the speakers. She sounded nervous, which made Luke nervous too.

"You got this, Rory," said Jess comfortingly. "Just like we discussed, OK?"

Lorelai and Luke sat in the darkened, quiet living room, anxiously awaiting Rory's vice. The evening had been tumultuous, from the moment of the kiss, through the talking and forgiving and making out. They'd been awake most of the night, and they were tired. But now, it felt as if even more was at stake. Rory's opinion mattered more than anything in the world to Lorelai, and Luke knew that if she even sensed Rory wasn't completely behind their reconciliation, it would not last.

"So, uh, Mom, Lane and I talked. Luke's not doing well. I mean really bad, actually, and the diner food sucks, but she needs her income and tips to survive. And, um, I noticed that you never really wallowed over Luke; well, there was that time you said you wallowed, but wallowing needs to be followed by closure, but you didn't have closure, and I think that you're never going to have closure about Luke, because you guys were always meant to be together.

But anyway it's not really about Lane, it's about you. You're not going to be happy until you two get back together, so I think, well, Jess and I think that you're going to have to engage your girl power and fix this, so you can be happy, and Luke can be happy, and Lane can be solvent, and I can stop worrying about you and can concentrate on my studies."

"See?" said Lorelai, poking Luke gently. "When we're not together the whole universe is out of sync."

Luke grunted in acknowledgment, pondering for the first time the impact his bad moods had on his employees.

"But you know, Mom, I want you to be sure that this is what you want."

"Oh, I'm sure," agreed Lorelai, reaching up to kiss Luke on the cheek before nestling her head in the crook of his shoulder.

"And Jess had this book, and it's got these questions, so I was thinking maybe I should ask them, but ..."

"Rambling, Rory. Stay on point. I only have so much disk space," complained Jess. "I'll start."

"So your boyfriend screwed up? He did something stupid? He walked out just when you needed him most?"

Luke pulled back into a corner of the sofa as the pain of the spoken truth hit home.

"Get back here, you. We've moved past this. Time to let go." She pulled one of his feet onto her lap and began massaging it as she listened.

"Here are some questions to help you decide if you're going to forgive the doofus or let him stay dumped."

She smiled before exclaiming, "I know how this quiz will turn out!"

When you reach the end of your day, who do you want to greet you with a hug and a hot cup of coffee?"

Lorelai giggled. "This quiz is oddly specific."

"Do you see his face?"

"When Michel has inspired a wish to commit murder, who reminds you that you don't get to wear high heels in the penitentiary?"

"Who will dance spazzy just so you don't have to be spazzy all alone?"

"Who plays golf with your father and endures insults from your mother just because they're your parents?"

"That one is above and beyond, Luke," said Lorelai , patting his foot.

"Who encourages you to eat healthier but trusts you to make your own decisions about your food?"

"Who lets you draw him out into situations he'd never choose for himself but he gladly does it anyway so he can be with you?"

"Who builds you a chuppah, keeps crazy notes from you, and calls you every day from the Renaissance fair?"

"Whose shoulder do you want to cry on? Whose hands do you want to comfort you when you are sad?"

"Whose is the last face you want to see at night and the first one in the morning?"

"Whose face do you see, Mom?"

Rory paused.

"It's not just that you need Luke, Mom. He needs you too."

Luke pulled Lorelai into his arms and rested his chin on top of her head, taking comfort from her as well as hiding his moist eyes.

"Yeah, because I can't be around all the time to give him the ass-kicking he needs on a regular basis," interjected Jess. "You gotta step up, Lorelai, otherwise the Stars Hollow universe will implode without its diner owner there to give everyone a reality check."

"Seriously, though, Mom," said Rory before Jess again interrupted with "I was being serious!"

"Luke keeps you grounded and you keep him hopeful. It's like you two are two halves of a whole that can't function without each other. I know he told you he needed time to think, but he's really just wallowing, and he needs you to tell him time's up. Time to get on with your life together. Don't let this go on any longer. Go get him, tiger!" she said in her most upbeat voice.

"Go get 'em, tiger?" scoffed Jess. "Seriously? You might have just said, "Do or do not. There is no try."

"Just keep going, you'll make it one day." No Danes was going to out-quote a Gilmore Girl.

"Run, Forrest, run!"

"I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

Rory reflected on her last quote. "Aw, that's just like them," cooed Rory. "Our own Harry and Sally."

"Anyway," said Jess, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "I'm counting on you to save next Thanksgiving, Aunty Lorelai. I need a turkey that's actually cooked, not black on the outside and raw on the inside."

The CD abruptly ended, leaving Lorelai and Luke stunned into silence.

"Our kids just got us back together," mused Lorelai.

"Yeah."

"I don't think we can ever tell anyone about this."

"Yeah. Kinda embarrassing."

"So it's a pact? You pinky swear that we take this to our graves with us?"

"As long as I don't actually have to do that thing with the pinky, sure."

"Aw, Luke, c'mon, it's not binding if we don't crook our pinkies together."

"Can't we just have a pact to say that we did, even though we don't?"

"How about if we cut our fingers and mix our blood, like the Indians did?"

"No! That's disgusting! And unhygienic."

"So we're back to the pinky swear?"

"No."

"Tell you what. You pinky swear right now and I'll postpone the mocking of the audio tape and the self help book until after we have the sex."

"THE sex?"

"Seriously? You want to argue about the grammar of having sex?"

"Not really. I just want to start having the sex," he conceded.

"Give me the pinky, Luke, and I'll give you the sex."

He sighed right before extending his pinky, which she hooked into hers and led him upstairs. "Fair warning," she added as they climbed the stairs. "There may be a chapter in my memoir titled 'The Pinky Swear.'"

* * *

Lorelai's dark tresses fell around her face, forming a curtain as she leaned over Luke. She was laughing and he was laughing, both deep in post-coital bliss.

"I'm perfectly serious, Luke!"

His throaty laugh rumbled through his body, resonating into hers as they were still intimately connected. "It's crazy," he insisted. "It makes no sense whatsoever."

"It makes perfect sense, stud." She wriggled her hips, clenching down on him slightly.

"You'll be the death of me yet, woman, if you keep that up."

She laughed triumphantly. "Clearly little Lucas doesn't agree with you." Another small hip circle had him involuntarily thrusting upward.

She sat up straight to explain. "It's very simple. We don't do things that have an 'ate' in them."

Leaning back, she rested her hands on his bent knees. "First, we waited a long time to start our relationship. So waiting is something we don't do anymore."

"I like the not waiting thing," Luke growled as little Lucas woke up completely.

Luke flipped them over with a laughing screech from Lorelai as they focused on their most urgent needs at that moment.

"But I like fishing," he complained sleepily as they cuddled back under the sheets after showering, during which Lorelai rediscovered that little Lucas enjoyed showering very much.

"Fishing doesn't have an 'ate' in it, honey."

"Bait," he mumbled. "Can't fish without baiting the hook."

"Hmm. I guess we can make an exception for things that we don't do together. How about if I just come along with you, wear the cute outfits and camp, and keep you company, but I don't fish?"

"Mm-hm. Oughta work," he agreed. He stretched his arm above his head, scratching his scalp drowsily.

Lorelai draped herself over his torso. "Good thing sleeping isn't an 'ate' word. This is my favorite part of sleeping. You're better than any pillow."

"Go to sleep," he said. "I love you. That's not an 'ate' thing."

"Loving each other is definitely something we shouldn't stop doing," she smiled. "I love you too."

Halfway to being asleep, she edged closer to Luke, but opened her eyes as she felt his bicep flex as he leaned on one elbow and smiled at her. He brushed a strand of hair off her face.

"Dating is something else we stop doing." Ever pragmatic, he needed to find the boundaries of her rules.

"Yep. No more dating." She sank back down, pulling two more pillows near.

"But we can still go out and do stuff, right? I like doing stuff with you, even the insane stuff."

"Shopping?"

He sighed. "Yes, even shopping. Why doesn't that word have an 'ate' in it?"

She chuckled. "No waiting. No dating, but lots of shopping. And you have to bait your own hooks." Another chuckle. "Bait your own hook. Dirty."

"So we are just in a relationship? Not dating, not waiting?"

"Yep."

Luke lay back on the last unstolen pillow, contemplating this new phase. It felt awkward, incomplete. Not dating, yet not moving forward either.

"Lorelai. Lorelai." He finally poked her trying to wake her from a deep sleep.

"What?" She scratched her ear and squinted at him.

"Let's move in together. Live together. That's what people in relationships do."

"Ok." She drew the covers up over her shoulders.

"Ok? That's it? Wow. You're easy." He smiled, satisfied at this progress.

"Yeah, that's what all the guys say."

"And I'm switching you over to veggie burgers."

"Forget it."

He propped himself up long enough to kiss her goodnight, adding, "Turkey burgers?"

Before he could lay back down she'd stolen the last pillow.


	6. Shopping

Chapter 6 Shopping

* * *

Finally awake, Lorelai knotted her robe around her still-naked body and followed the cooking smells to the kitchen.

"Wow. You've been up for a while." Her table groaned under the food he'd cooked already.

He nodded, focusing on plating the last of the pancakes. "Went to Doose's, got some stuff. Taylor's an ass." The grocer hadn't passed up an opportunity to enlist Luke's help for the next festival, which of course had been rejected immediately, especially after Taylor's blue and pink ribbon fiasco.

"I know," she said, nibbling from one plate after another.

"Sookie was there, buying some weird baby stuff." He looked at Lorelai, who appeared unconcerned.

Luke continued. "She saw what I was buying and figured it out." He looked at Lorelai nervously. "She's got a squeal only dogs can hear," he said apologetically.

"Cool. I bet she told you to tell me that I could take the day off."

He nodded.

"And you?" she asked.

"Stopped by the diner and talked to Lane, who also gave me the day off. She looked relieved."

He pushed her gently down onto a chair and sat next to her. Lorelai dug hungrily into the best food she'd eaten in weeks. Luke peeled an orange as he sat next to her. She raised her eyebrows.

"Already ate," he said nonchalantly, tossing an orange peel easily into the oatmeal bowl near the sink.

His eyes crinkled happily as he opened his mouth and tasted the food she offered him. It still wasn't his favorite breakfast, but the intimacy of feeding and being fed was irresistible. He felt relieved that things were going back to normal.

"So I was thinking," he began as Lorelai took a first deep drink from her coffee mug. "Maybe we should drive to New Haven and um, let Rory know. Maybe thank her. Got some donuts and some brownies from the diner."

She looked unconcerned, sipped her coffee and continued eating.

"Don't you think she ought to know we're back together?"

"I'm pretty sure she already knows. If Lane didn't call her, then Sookie surely did."

"You guys have an amazing network."

"It's still a good idea to visit her. She doesn't know you're moving in. And I need some Rory hugs," she said. "Afterwards we can go shopping."

"Don't you think we should discuss the location?"

"Of what, the mall? It's in Woodbridge. Then maybe we'll hit a furniture store or two. We need to find some pieces that are ours, and not mine and Rory's or just Luke's."

Luke shook his head. "We have to decide on a place to live! I mean, there's always here, or the diner, but if we tried to move you into my apartment it would be even worse than when Jess lived there. You've got so much stuff that the ceiling over the diner would collapse and I'd be dependent on you to support me, but the Dragonfly hasn't made a profit yet, so we'd probably starve, so I was thinking that maybe we could look for a place together that would have lots of room like maybe a place where you could have a horse like you always wanted and a nice big library room for Rory. Or we could stay here, although it might be cramped when Rory moves back in after school."

"You've been running a marathon with those brain cells of yours, mister." She ran her hand over his comfortingly. "We've got time to make these decisions, Luke."

"Yeah, I know. I'm just taking this 'not waiting' thing seriously, and mornings are the times I get my thoughts organized and make plans."

"Plans are good. They're even better when we make them together."

"Point taken," he said. "How about we drive to Rory, say hi, then decide what to do later?"

"Now that's a plan that is simple enough for my first cup of coffee." She held her mug out for more. "I think horses and library rooms will come after about the fifth cup."

* * *

"OK, she wasn't at her dorm," commented Lorelai as they walked toward the center of campus. "Now we have to tour the various coffee carts and kiosks. If she's not still at one, she'll be coming from one."

They walked a bit farther, then stopped as they debated the next turn to take. Before Lorelai could choose, they were nearly bowled over by a backpack-laden Rory.

"I'm so glad you guys are back together!" she squealed. She wrapped one arm around each of them for a group hug, squeezing their waists enthusiastically.

Rory and Lorelai broke off to properly celebrate with the correct amount of bouncing, hugging and giggling. Luke stood awkwardly by, feeling uncomfortable and happy at the same time as he watched two parts of his heart shared their happiness.

"Hey Ace," came a relaxed greeting from Logan. He had been with Rory before she ran to her mother, dropping her extra study bag on the way. Picking up her bag, he turned to Finn and Stephanie, who had been with them, to fill them in briefly on the situation. After giving Rory time to greet her family, the students strolled over to join them.

Logan watched carefully as Luke's expression moved from politely uncaring to remembering who Logan was, ending at his memory of Logan and Rory in an anteroom at the vow renewal, half-dressed and intent on wearing even less. A chill passed through Logan, who covered it with an impish grin.

"Nice to see you again, sir," Logan said obsequiously.

His sucking up tone was not lost on Luke, who barely grunted a hello in return. He would never have been actually friendly to Logan, because, well, Logan was clearly not worthy of Rory, just as Jess and Dean had not been worthy. There was more to it, though. Luke was happy that he and Lorelai were back together, happy that they were making another regular excursion to visit Rory at school, just like any parent would. He was happy to see her happy that they were back together and happy to see that she was doing well. None of that happiness justified making the boyfriend happy, so Luke kept that to himself and shook Logan's hand while Lorelai watched him, grateful that this encounter hadn't involved Luke yelling at Logan.

Stephanie congratulated Luke with a beautiful smile and offered her best wishes to Lorelai, immediately launching into a discussion about her pink coat.

Luke eyed Finn's wild curls with suspicion; not bothering to give him an evil eye because he figured Rory only dated guys with better hair. That had at least been true in Stars Hollow, although a comparing glance at Logan's cropped curls had him doubting.

"Best wishes," said Finn to Luke, shaking his hand.

"Hey, that's meant for me, isn't it?" asked Lorelai, not skipping a beat as she showed the lining of her coat to Stephanie. "Best wishes to the woman, because she finally made her choice, and congratulations to the man for winning the blue ribbon."

"We do things upside-down in Australia, darling," joked Finn.

"Let's go to the Luke-approved cafe!" cried Rory, taking Logan's hand. She turned to Stephanie. "We get free cookies at Java Jerry's when Luke is with us, 'cause they know each other."

Stephanie and Finn begged off with the excuse that they were actually going to go to their comparative cinematography class today. The other four turned toward Jerry's.

Wrapping his arm around Lorelai's waist, Luke kissed her temple before quietly asking, "isn't that best wishes stuff for a wedding? Or a fake wedding, like your parents'?"

"I don't really know," she whispered. "That's Emily world stuff."

The elder couple settled into a bench seat while Rory and Logan fetched the beverages. Jerry stopped by long enough to greet Luke and exchange a few words about the food service industry.

Rory returned with a plate and a mouth full of cookies. Swallowing, she said, "Good thing you don't bake cookies, too, or I'd have a problem choosing between you and Jerry."

He laughed. "Pie and brownies are good enough for me."

"Coffee, coffee, tea, tea," listed Logan as he set the beverages on the table.

Lorelai wriggled in her seat, unable to contain herself any more. "How did you and Jess make that CD? Did you go to Philadelphia?"

"And what about the tape?" added Luke, still confused about their ability to publish multiple formats.

"Jess?" asked Logan as he stirred sugar and cream into Rory"s coffee. "Who's Jess?"

"Jess is Luke's nephew. Lane called him, and me, and we got together to make the recording," replied Rory, carefully choosing her words. No need to bring up old boyfriends. "It was pretty cool, he did it with me on the phone and he was at his computer."

"My baby recorded an audio book!" grinned Lorelai. "If the international correspondent thing falls through, you can always become the next Dr. Phil!"

She turned to Luke. "I wonder if we should make copies and put them up for sale at the diner. Or a copy in every room at the Dragonfly!"

"No!" insisted a worried Luke. "We swore never to discuss the tape or what they said! Can you imagine what would happen if Kirk or Miss Patty got a hold of this?"

"Oh, god, we'd have to move if Hello magazine knew about this." She pointed a finger at Rory and Logan. "You are sworn to secrecy. Promise you'll take this to your grave. Swear on a pound of Luke's coffee."

"Hey! What about Jess? He knows, too," cried Rory, crossing her arms and pouting.

Luke scoffed. "What? You think he's going to willingly come back to Stars Hollow and chat Taylor up?"

"So when's the wedding?" asked Logan innocently.

"Wedding? Who's talking about a wedding?" asked Lorelai nervously as she shifted in her seat, creating the tiniest of gaps between her and Luke. The gap didn't prevent her from feeling his body stiffen.

"We just got back together," she added, trying to sound casual. "It's not even been a day yet."

Luke sat silently as Lorelai filled the awkward space with words. Finally, when her Energizer battery had worn down, he commented, "We haven't decided anything yet, except we want to live together." He paused before adding, "That's one of the reasons we're here. Rory, are you OK with this idea?"

"Because if you're not, hon, we can figure something else out," blurted her mother. "Maybe Luke can be there except when you're there. Or I can live in the apartment, except that wouldn't work, because I have a lot more stuff than Jess did, and Jess' stuff almost suffocated Luke, so probably just my bras would give him a stroke, ..."

"Mom."

"... but we could stack his sports trophies on top of my movie collection. Then the Crap Shack would be like a girls only club, ..."

"Mom!" Rory's shout got Lorelai's attention.

She rolled her eyes. "You two should live together in the Crap Shack. You're going to get married soon anyway, right? You're not letting anyone else come between you? 'Cause I know that once grandma catches her breath she's going to think of something else, and we have to make sure that doesn't happen."

Rory turned to Luke and patted him on the hand. "Move in quickly. I'll help. You two are bad for Stars Hollow when you're apart."

He flipped his hand and took hers, giving it a squeeze. "Thanks, kid, I think we got it. Wouldn't want to bring down the economy of Stars Hollow."

He nudged Lorelai, who had covered her shell shock with a fake smile, and was looking at Logan with a combination of 'still not thrilled that you're my daughter's boyfriend' and 'Rory wants us to get married soon.'

"Plaid tablecloth!" blurted Lorelai. "We need to buy a plaid tablecloth, and flannel sheets, and manly stuff to decorate the Crap Shack."

"Manly stuff?" snorted Luke. "All my stuff is manly. No need for shopping."

"Oh please, those curtains of yours are too girly for me. Which reminds me we should spruce up the apartment, in case we decide to rent it out or something."

"We're not sprucing anything, except maybe planting a spruce in your front yard," said Luke determinedly. "Rory, we better go before the shopping list gets so long my head explodes."

Logan trotted off to the counter while Lorelai hugged her daughter again, looking into her eyes, asking, "You're really, really sure about this? We're going to let a boy into our Gilmore Girls world?"

Rory chuckled. "Mom, Luke's been an honorary Gilmore Girl for years. We're just making it official."

"There's another secret we're taking to our graves," decided Luke, who was rather moved that Rory thought so well of him. "I'll just go pay and say goodbye to Jerry." He passed Logan as he crossed the room.

"Just settled the bill," Logan said. "Everything's taken care of." He smiled winningly, confident that Luke would be pleased.

Luke was not pleased. "We invited you, I should pay. Well, actually, we invited Rory." He glared at Logan, who was not used to not being treated like a billionaire's son, before going to the counter and putting a generous tip in the jar as he said goodbye to Jerry.

The women led the way out of the coffee shop, walking arm in arm, followed by a stern Luke and subdued Logan.

As the two couples went their separate ways, Luke asked, "You still in on this living together thing? You got kinda quiet back there for a while. It scared me a little, like being in the eye of the hurricane."

"Hurricane Lorelai's been downgraded to a tropical storm," she consoled. "It's just a little weird to hear her say that she's expecting us to marry."

He stopped on the sidewalk next to the truck. "Lorelai, you were right."

She giggled. "There's a statement a girl can't hear too often."

"Hush, I'm trying to tell you something important. That day in Doose's, when you said you were in, you said you wanted our middle."

He shuffled his feet as he searched for the words. "I think we're in the middle of our middle right now. For me, it started with our first date. I guess, well, because we had such a good friendship for so long, that I think that was our beginning. We've been in our middle for a very long time, and I don't give a damn what rules anyone else has to define the middle."

"But the middle is pets, and jogging suits, and maybe kids and Crock Pots and salad spinners."

"That's someone else's definition of a middle. That's not good enough for Lorelai Gilmore. Lorelai Gilmore's middle is going to be insane and unpredictable and loud and funny all at the same time."

"That does sound more like us," she agreed. "But you like sane, and predictable, ok you can be loud and I've never found anyone as funny as you, but …"

"No, that's where you're wrong," he said.

"Uh-oh, losing some boyfriend points there buddy."

"I don't like sane and predictable. I like you." Luke rolled his eyes at himself. "OK, that didn't come out right. I love you and I like it when you storm into my life and you love me as only Lorelai Gilmore can love, and I love the crazy that comes with it. Every bit of it."

He took her hands in his, adding, "It may be that there are babies and pets, but our middle is going to have yellow boots and bagel hockey and hundreds of sparkly festival costumes and thousands of movies and I will love it all because it's Technicolor Lorelai Gilmore all the time, and we deserve nothing less."

"You know what we need to do now," Lorelai's voice was unusually weak, her energy invested in preventing tears from falling.

"Oh yeah," said Luke. "Shopping."

"You got it babe."

"Hey, it's really simple. Me, my flannels, my toolbox and my Billy Bass singing trout are all I need. Wherever they are, I'm at home."

Luke and Lorelai lifted the long box into the back of the truck, then turned around to pick up the individual packages of weights that went with the rack in the box. Lorelai hefted her box into the truck with a grin.

"Thanks for getting the pink weights in my size. I'm gonna get so strong!"

"I'll be happy if you use them a little," he said. "Maybe a little more than your last gym membership."

"It's going to be so easy, because we'll be doing it together. You have to agree that my idea to turn the apartment into a playroom was genius." She hopped up on the tailgate so she could put her face right in front of Luke's as he tied down the load.

"It's not a playroom. We're adults. We have a den, or an activity room, or an exercise room, but not a playroom." He grasped her at the waist and lifted her back to the ground, pulling her to him to receive another one of her kisses that made his knees rubbery.

He was happy again. His stupid actions that led to the breakup had been forgiven and Lorelai had gotten her sparkle back, laughing and joking and saying crazy things that ultimately turned out to be good ideas, like repurposing the apartment to a place for them to share.

"Once we're all buff and toned, I'm going to bring my sewing machine here all by myself and start working on the next dance costumes for Miss Patty's recital. It's just your kind of ballet - fir trees and mushrooms and woodland creatures."

"No kind of ballet is my kind of ballet," he muttered trying to keep a frown on his face, which was a losing battle given that Lorelai was giggling irrepressibly.

She pouted, pretending to be dismayed by his attitude. "But it's a Tribute to Euell Gibbons. He's your hero!"

"Euell Gibbons isn't my hero. Where did you get that idea?"

"Jess said so," she commented, nodding her head knowingly. "Many parts of the pine tree are edible," she quoted in a horrible imitation of Jess' voice.

The laughter rolling out of his gut surprised her, but she took advantage of the moment to place her hands on his chest and enjoy the rare vibrations.

"One of these days I'll convince you to go hiking and camping. You'll love how beautiful it is and how great it is to be out there. We'll feel like we're all alone in the world."

Lorelai reached up and scratched his stubble affectionately. "You bet, mountain man, but let's go hunt some sheets and towels first."

* * *

"Five sets of sheets is overkill," grumbled Luke. "One set in the laundry and one set on the bed. Don't need more than that."

"No, actually five is the perfect number. You love the plaid sheets and the fisherman pillows; I love the Betty Boop sheets, and the last three we compromised on for the sake of the relationship. No more discussing it. I see an ice cream shop. You need a sugar boost."

"I used to wonder why you don't weigh 500 pounds. Now I'm starting to wonder how long it will be before I weigh that much. I've never eaten so much junk food in my life," he said after they had polished off their treats.

"That's because you're deprived, my sweet. You ate that pistachio and mango cone twice as fast as I ate my teeny tiny three scoop waffle."

"It did taste good," agreed Luke amiably. "Now that you're all sugared up, can we go home?"

"Yes. I am so excited to think that tomorrow it will be official. Luke Danes' new address will be the Crap Shack. Wasn't it nice of Rory and Logan to insist that they came help with the move? That way I won't have to pretend to carry things. We can leave it all to you two big strong men. I knew there must be a good reason to string you along," Lorelai smirked.

"Hey, you know what? After tomorrow we'll be living together, roomies, a cohabiting couple. Life partners."

"Sounds good." Two syllables were all that came out of his mouth, but the feeling of happiness he had inside would have put a Tom Clancy unedited 'words-gone-wild' late career novel to shame. This was it. What he'd always wanted, a simple life with Lorelai, arguing over Betty Boop and Bullwinkle Moose sheets.

They continued walking across the parking lot, Luke feeling happy while Lorelai talked about something that he wasn't listening to because he was busy being happy and enjoying the sound of her voice.

Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his side. Lorelai's fingernails weren't long, but they were sturdy enough to poke him hard.

"Hey! What was that?"

"It's a disaster! And you weren't listening to me! We can't live together!"

"What? No! Why?"

"Because cohabitate is an 'ate' word! We don't do 'ate' words? Remember?"

"That's just stupid!" he groaned. At the same moment she responded with "uh, no, it's not," Luke's phone rang. He dropped the bags of sheets and towels, getting a sick feeling in his stomach as he heard the muffled crunch as the glass baubles Lorelai had fallen in love with smashed to bits.

"Sorry," he said as he put the phone to his ear.

"For what?" she demanded angrily. "For breaking my stuff or calling me stupid?"

"Jess?" He said into the phone, turning slightly away from Lorelai, which only made her angrier.

"You called her stupid?" asked Jess, who'd heard every word she'd said.

"No! I didn't call her stupid! I called cohabitate stupid!" One look at Lorelai told him that was not the right thing to say.

"Now you don't want to live together?" Her anger was quickly being replaced by shock and she took a step backward.

"What the fuck, Luke? Rory just called me. It hasn't been twenty-four hours and you've already screwed this up?"

"It's just a stupid word!" he complained. "I'm not going to screw this up."

"You already did!" cried Lorelai as she opened the door to the truck and climbed in.

"Shit, shit, shit," said Luke. "I gotta go. Did you have an emergency or something? Are you bleeding or being arrested?"

"No, man, I'm good. You better go fix your relationship," said Jess in a more caring tone than Luke had ever heard. "Again." The last comment being full-on Jess snark again.

Luke put the bags under the tarp in the back of the truck. Taking a deep breath, he opened the driver's side door and climbed into Antarctica.

"I'll go replace those glass things," he offered, speaking to Lorelai's back as she remained twisted to the side, looking out her window.

"Don't bother. Those were the last ones in that color."

He sighed. This was not going to be easy. "Lorelai. So much happened in the past three minutes I'm completely lost. Help me."

Silence.

"Please."

Silence. Luke wrapped his hands around the steering wheel.

"Ok, here's what I know. You said we can't cohabitate because of that whole 'ate' thing. I said that was stupid. Right?"

A soft "hmmph" and the slightest of nods was her answer.

"Lorelai, cut me some slack here. Please."

The Rory face was Luke's downfall, he thought. At least until he encountered 'hurt Lorelai' eyes.

She had pouted in the middle of their regular banter. She had been deeply sad coming into the diner after particularly bad arguments with her parents. This face was worse. Worse because he knew he'd caused it.

Shakily, she half-whispered her thoughts as she stared at the people walking by in the parking lot of the shopping center. "You said you were in but you weren't. You left." A breath and a half-sob made her next words even more painful. "Are you leaving now?"

Luke's jaw worked furiously as he saw his actions from her perspective.

"'Cause if you are," she continued, "I'd like to return the sheets now. I don't have much of a need for plaid flannel sheets in a single bed." Squeezing her eyes shut to give her strength, she added, "The fisherman pillows too; I don't think I could sleep under those all alone."

He slid across the bench seat of the truck, close to her but not touching.

"Lorelai," he said in a voice nearly as soft as hers, "I can't promise that we'll never fight, or I won't call something stupid, or I won't break your pretty things. But I can promise that I'll never give up when we hit hard times; that I'll keep showing up to try to fix things; that there is nowhere else in the world that I want to be than wherever you are."

She reached her left hand out to him and he pressed it between his own two hands. "Let's go home. I want to put the fisherman pillows on the bed."

* * *

Later, after the plaid sheets had been thoroughly tested and the fishermen Norman and Paul were introduced to Betty Boop, Lorelai came out of the bathroom, lifted the sheet and spooned herself into the sleepy Luke.

"Hey." He drew her even closer with his arm, which stayed firmly wrapped around her waist..

"Hey yourself," he said softly.

"We didn't deal with the 'ate' problem." Lorelai ran her fingers around Luke's wrist, still anxious about the topic.

Luke sighed. "We could completely forget about the whole 'ate' thing."

"We could call it living together and swear off the word cohabitate," suggested Lorelai.

Luke nodded, burying his face in her hair and closing his eyes. He twisted strands of her hair around his finger while he looked at her, cuddled with him, her eyes closed.

"Or, … we could eliminate the problem completely." He smiled. This felt right.

"What?" she asked. "Tear the cohabitate page out of the dictionary?"

He chuckled. "Too many dictionaries. Besides, Rory would never forgive us for defacing her precious books."

She nodded. "You're right We don't want to risk the wrath of Rory. She might sic Jess on us again."

"Or we could, …" Luke deliberately waited.

She turned in his arms to look at his face, wondering what was coming next.

His ripply lttle smile gave her a good feeling.

"You know, … get married."

"Huh."

"Huh? What does that mean?" Suddenly Luke wasn't so confident. All the questions about marriage today had led him to ask, but Lorelai's reaction concerned him.

"It means I'm trying to think of 'ate' words about marriage.'

"You're looking for a way out? You don't want to get married?" He propped himself up on his elbow. "I kinda thought you'd be telling me about your dream wedding."

"Huh."

"Seriously, Lorelai? What is it now?"

"Funny."

"Do you see me laughing?" he exclaimed, the stress beginning to get to him.

"You almost never laugh," she chided him. "It just occurred to me that I've dreamed about our middle a lot, but I never thought about the wedding."

He released a breath he didn't know he'd held. "So we could just do it?"

"Heehee. We did just do it. You're insatiable."

He banded his arm tightly around her as she continued to grin.

"When it comes to Lorelai Gilmore I am," he growled.

"Good answer." Another giggle. "OK."

"OK?"

"OK. We need Rory and Sookie, but let's do it."

"And Jess. Got to have both authors with us."

"And Jess," she agreed. "Rory and I need dresses."

"Obviously," he nodded. "Name the day. I'll be there."

And so it happened. After another extended period of squealing, bouncing and general merriment involving hugs and kisses for a rather embarrassed but happy Luke, the girls got down to the business of getting Lorelai hitched.

Sookie was kept in the dark until the very last minutes to prevent it leaking to Jackson, who somehow always managed to be on top of the Stars Hollow gossip, leading a group of manly men who called themselves the Stars Hollow Network, which did little more than exchange gossip and drink beer. Still Sookie managed to provide a beautiful cake for the event.

Luke nearly ruined the whole thing because he was smiling so much that Miss Patty and Babette became suspicious. Fortunately, Kirk saved him by conveniently sneaking Lulu's dog into the diner, whereupon it escaped, scaring two tourists and causing Luke to drop a plate. He took the opportunity to yell at Kirk and ban him from the diner for the rest of the week. He relented a few hours later in response to Kirk's sandwich board that he paraded in front of the diner, loudly announcing his personal apology to Luke.

Thus they married, with Sookie, Rory and Logan, and Jess with his girlfriend Stacy, who was welcomed by Lorelai and Luke, and described as a 'sweet little macaroon' by Sookie. A mini honeymoon was made possible by Lane and Caesar and Sookie covering for the couple over a long weekend, and they drove along the Connecticut shoreline from the chapel they'd found near New Haven to Stonington.

Lorelai had called in a favor from her Connecticut Inn Owners Association and scored a beautiful seaside room at the Inn at Stonington. She even cheerfully accompanied Luke on a hike through the Barn Island Wildlife Refuge and he treated her to shopping in Mystic.

* * *

A/N: This came after I saw the revival. I wanted to riff off the "I will never think about leaving" but keep it in character with Season 5.


	7. Celebrate

Chapter 7 Celebrate

* * *

"They don't know!" Lorelai held her pink phone to her ear as she dropped the last folder into her filing cabinet.

Luke pulled the phone into the kitchen, where it was a bit quieter. "What do you mean they don't know?"

"They don't know that we were married!"

"Who doesn't know?" he asked. "It's just you, Sookie, and Michel over there. Sookie knows, and I don't really give a damn if Michel knows or not, that putz."

"No! It's much more than that! Taylor was here today. He sees everything and he didn't notice. I finally waved my ring in front of him. Nothing."

"That's just Taylor. He's an idiot."

"But Babette was here too. She came over to take care of the gnome she insisted I put in the back garden. I talked to her for five straight minutes and what did I get? Crickets!"

"Crickets? That's the name of the gnome?"

"No! Silence! She said nothing! Babette is never silent!"

His eyes crinkled. Getting Lorelai a little worked up over something like this was a favorite pastime for him. "Silence is the name of the gnome?"

"Oh my god. Now you choose to be a stand up comedian?"

Luke chuckled. "Lorelai. This is like a giant piñata. Someone is going to whack it, and the news will come out and you'll be complaining about the townies who won't shut up about it."

She rolled her eyes. "Great, now you're working blue. Has marriage changed you so much already?"

He laughed. Marriage had changed him. He'd never laughed so much in his life as he had in the past few days. Lorelai and Rory had been so happy, excited and energized about the elopement that they had completely overwhelmed him with plans and ideas.

It couldn't have been any 'sneak away in the night and get married' thing for them. Lorelai suddenly thought of a million pre-wedding rituals she wanted, and Rory and Sookie supported her in each one of them. A bachelorette party became a last drink with her girls. The wedding shower was a champagne-enhanced visit to an exclusive lingerie shop.

Sookie hadn't slept because she kept coming up with new cake ideas and test samples. Flowers involved calling in a favor to the best supplier to the Dragonfly, but they came through with bouquets, boutonnières and even tied flowers to the Jeep once they'd escaped Stars Hollow.

"Not a bit," he deadpanned, even though both knew he was lying.

* * *

"What are you doing here? asked Luke when he stepped out of the diner to meet Lorelai as she walked by.

"Not letting this one go, babe. You remember the Fay Wellington and Art Brush charts! And then there were the ribbons."

"I hated those ribbons," growled Luke.

She pointed to the gazebo. "So, gazebo or diner? Where should we do the big reveal? "

"You know there's no way you're getting me naked in public right?"

"A girl can dream, can't she?"

"How about you come to the diner this afternoon as planned and we just tell everybody? "

"Man this is going to be the most boring wedding announcement ever!" She pulled him close by his flannel. "Kiss. See you later, doll. "

"Check the number of pies and get more coffee ready to go," he reminded himself as he went back to work.

* * *

Luke was all set for the announcement of their marriage. Not only was pie and coffee ready, but he'd also put a few bottles of champagne into the fridge because he knew Lorelai would love to have a fuss made over them, and a champagne toast would be just the thing. He'd even managed a phone call to Rory, who'd promised to make the half-hour drive if her class finished on time.

His afternoon lull had come early and the diner was completely empty. No Lorelai, no townies. It was a little weird, but he took the chance to clean out the ever-recalcitrant toaster. He smiled to himself, looking forward to standing next to Lorelai as she basked in the adulation of her friends.

While fun was not strictly in his vocabulary, Luke was prepared to put up a pretense of enjoying himself. For Lorelai's sake, of course. It wasn't like he'd called his friend Ed or the guys on the softball team on a pretext so they would also be here this afternoon. Or that he'd stocked a few beers as well as the champagne, figuring the congratulations were likely to turn into a private party at the diner.

"Dammit!" he thought as the bells rang and revealed the Wicked Witch of West Hartford flying through the door.

 _"What on earth is wrong with you, besides the obvious lack of fashion sense?"_ she screeched.

He shook his head to clear it of the parallels her appearance and behavior had to the Wizard of Oz, which Lorelai had recited for hours last weekend on their drive back from the coast.

" _What are you –_ " he began, illogically wondering how many horsepower her Jaguar-shaped broom that she had parked across the street had.

 _"I told you to get back together with Lorelai! I told you exactly what to do and exactly what to say. What do you need, a cheat sheet?"_

He watched her face contort. She really did look like the character in the movie, with slightly less green in her skin tone.

" _Emily_ –"

She continued, as practiced as ever in her insults. " _Some flash cards, some Sesame Street characters to sing a song about it?"_

This was taking altogether too much time and Luke was getting pissed. " _Look_!"

" _Do you think that it was easy for me to come to you like that? Do you think I enjoyed it? Like I was just sitting around my house thinking, hmm, what shall I do tonight? I know. I can drive to Stars Hollow and humiliate myself at the local greasy spoon!"_

 _"Okay, I am in the middle of –"_ He didn't give a damn about what she had to say, or how low she believed she had to sink. He just wanted her gone.

 _"I don't care what you're in the middle of! My family is being torn apart because for some reason you are incapable of taking simple instructions and putting your relationship back together!"_

He could hear the speed dial kick in and Lorelai's phone wouldn't be long until the two of them could deal with his mother-in-law together. He drew in a deep breath as he saw this scene being repeated in the coming years.

 _"Just because you run a diner and have mastered the art of the blank stare does not mean it's going to work with me!"_

Lorelai rushed into the diner, catching her mother's latest tirade.

 _"And Richard went through a great deal of trouble to set the whole thing up, and you never even called Herb Smith! Apparently, you can't follow through with anything! Not even a razor!"_

 _"Mom, what are you doing here?"_ She looked at Luke apologetically.

 _"I am having what I'm sure will turn out to be yet another fruitless conversation with this man."_

 _"I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry."_

 _"It's okay."_ It wasn't ok; he wanted to toss Emily out of the diner and enjoy the afternoon surprise he'd planned for his wife.

" _Mom, go home. You have no right to barge in here and cause a scene."_

 _"I have something I want to say."_

 _"No! We don't want to hear what you have to say! We just want you to please butt out of our lives!"_

 _"Our lives? So there's an 'our lives'? Are you two back together?"_

 _"Yes, we are."_

 _"So you did go to her. Just like I told you to."_

 _"We got back together because we wanted to get back together."_

 _"Then I simply don't understand. If you're together, then what's the problem?"_

 _"What are you talking about?"_

 _"Why won't you come to Friday dinner? Whatever happened between the two of you, I obviously fixed it, so –"_

 _"You fixed it? You broke it! Just because Luke and I found a way to repair the damage doesn't erase the fact that it happened!"_

 _"What I did I did out of concern."_

 _"Oh, please!"_

 _"As your mother, I have the right to be concerned. Especially when it looks like you're taking your life down a completely disastrous path. I had to jump in, and –"_

 _"Mom!"_

 _"Lorelai!"_

 _"Please hear me. If I want your input in my life in any way, shape or form, I will ask for it. Until then, do us all a favor and shut up!"_

Before Emily could gather herself together, a parade of townies poured into the diner.

A dozen voices called out various forms of congratulations and good wishes at once. Emily was pushed to the side as they all wanted to hug Lorelai at the same time. Lorelai grabbed Luke's arm over the counter and pulled him around to the front. He tried to frown, considered yelling, but realized this time no one would hear him, so he manfully took his favorite position guarding Lorelai's rear flank.

Lane, who'd been clued in by Rory and confirmed it for herself with a glance at Luke's left hand, had spent her break informing the critical members of the town phone tree. She quietly put up the "Private Party" sign and locked the door, pocketing the key.

Noticing Emily steaming mad at the edge of the crowd, Lane caught Luke's attention. He drew a threatening line under his chin. Lane placed a hand on Lorelai's back and Lorelai automatically wrapped her arm around Lane's shoulder. Lane turned so Lorelai wouldn't have to watch her mother recoiling from the jovial intimate group, while Luke stayed on the other side of his wife.

"Thanks for setting this up, sweetie," Lorelai said, a tear or two escaping her eyes, caused more by the kindness of her friends than the bitter fight with her mother.

"Please, Lorelai, it was nothing. I only made one stop by Miss Patty's and she took care of the rest."

Lane, Lorelai and Luke watched as their friends placed food and drinks everywhere in the diner. A small mountain of gifts began growing in the corner of the room. Almost as if they'd been doing it for years, the manlier men of the group, mostly Jackson, Bootsy and the softball team, migrated to the relative quiet of the kitchen.

Lane nodded her head toward Emily. "Isn't that your mom, Lorelai? Want me to get rid of her? I can have her out the door faster than Kirk when Luke's really mad."

"Out the window would be better," growled Luke.

Lorelai watched her mother try to squeeze through the crush to leave, jumping away as soon as anyone came too close to her designer suit. She bumped up against a table, quickly grabbing a napkin to wipe off any diner grime she could find on her clothes. Miss Patty loomed over her before she called out, "Here's Lorelai's mother! Come say hi, Emily!"

All the ladies who'd been dragged to Emily's fake bachelorette party crowded around and demolished Emily's hoity-toity notion of personal space. As Lorelai watched her mother get more uncomfortable by the moment, an evil smile spread across her face.

She patted Lane's shoulder affectionately. "No, hon, Emily dragged us to a fake wedding reception with her snobby friends, then behaved like the world's worst soap opera. It's about time she experienced what true friendship is. Keep her here. Let her see the kind of life Rory and I have here."

Nodding, Lane took off to manage the party and let a few key people know about Emily. Lorelai turned to Luke.

The thundercloud hadn't left his face yet. "I liked the window idea better."

"No you don't," she coaxed. "You would have to install new glass, clean up the blood, and paint the words all over again. Letting Gypsy, Miss Patty and Babette have her for a while will leave a much longer-lasting impression."

* * *

"I screwed up some more mimosas!" called Miss Patty, holding up the pitcher with orange juice, champagne and a lot of vodka. Her table cheered loudly.

"Hit me!" said Emily. Gypsy no longer needed to demand she drink. It was her third mimosa, and while she wasn't a casual afternoon drinker, these were particularly delicious. And she was being held prisoner. Babette had insisted she stay, and when she tried to leave anyway Gypsy held her in her seat.

"What's the name of this champagne? I never had a mimosa that tasted like this."

She smirked as the women around her burst into laughter when Patty said, 'Popov!"

Leaning over to Gypsy, her favorite, she stage whispered, "See? I can fit into any social situation, even a greasy diner party. My daughter thinks I'm rude and snobbish."

"Lorelai always could read people," said Gypsy. "Can't remember to get her Jeep maintained, but she knows people." Emily, emptying the glass, wasn't listening.

"That's how she got to know Luke," said Patty. "I remember the day they met. She blew into the diner, looking stunning as usual, and tried to get coffee. We watched her follow Luke around, begging for a cup to go, but he ignored her."

"Yeah! We knew her already, and there wasn't a guy within twenty miles who could resist that beauty. At least until she ran into Luke Danes." Babette chortled. "Literally! She was following him until he turned around kinda sudden and bumped right into her."

"He was so mad!" laughed Patty. "That didn't last long, though. After she left, he stood and stared out the window at her until Tom yelled at him."

"So there was Lorelai, our sweet beautiful girl," mused Babette. "Everyone loved her. Except this grumpy diner owner. So she came back the next day."

"I was there," agreed Gypsy. "She flirted and flirted with him. Drank her coffee at the counter while she batted her eyes at him. It would have killed a lesser man, but Luke didn't give in. Not until she left."

"Oh, god yes!" laughed Patty. "I thought he was going to have a stroke. I started to say something, but that's when I found out you did not tease him about Lorelai Gilmore. He was in love with her already." The others nodded in agreement.

"She never told me," muttered Emily.

"Of course not. Once Lorelai realizes a person isn't worthy of her trust, she gets all superficial. Only jokes and lightness, and that's right before she tries to get away from you."

"Sound familiar?" Gypsy topped off Emily's drink.

"I'm her mother!" exclaimed Emily hotly. "She's supposed to trust me!"

"Then she had her reasons," said Gypsy. "Never met a better judge of character."

"That's why she didn't give up on Luke." Patty pushed the bowl of pretzels across the table to Emily. "She kept coming in, hanging out, and the next thing we knew, they were best friends."

Babette sighed. "Still can't figure out what took them so long. With me and Morey, it was love at first sight."

"You mean lust at first sight! You guys couldn't keep your hands off each other!" The Hello Magazine table continued their chatter as Emily sank deeper into her cup.

* * *

Lorelai had been dividing her time amongst the other groups of people, receiving their congratulations, telling about the elopement, and showing off her rings. Sookie was steadily at her side and Lane kept an eye out for any trouble with Emily, as Luke had asked her to.

The dining room itself was packed with townies who had been a part of Lorelai's life in Stars Hollow, and were thrilled to finally see the couple together. Andrew went from table to table, snapping photos for posterity.

When Luke peeked out of the kitchen, where an equally-crowded room had a more masculine feel, due to it being his current as well as several childhood friends, he saw Lorelai in her element. She floated from table to table, joking, grinning, telling story after story that he didn't really want to know because many of her couple stories were 'can you believe Luke did that?' stories. When she looked his way, he winked at her, smiled and nodded, then went back to his share of the host duties in the kitchen.

Lorelai had just taken a water pitcher and put a bouquet of flowers that Andrew had given her on the table in the back corner. Glancing out the window, she saw Rory and Logan getting out of his car. As they approached the diner, she knocked on the window to get their attention and waved them around to the back, so they would be able to avoid Emily.

"You came!" she squealed as she let them in the back door, hugging them until they couldn't breathe.

"As soon as classes were out," nodded Rory.

"Well, maybe we skipped one," added Logan sheepishly. "Anyway, we're here. Looks like a great turnout. Were you surprised?"

Lorelai beamed. "Yes! I was so sad this morning, because no one noticed my rings, or commented on the fact that both Luke and I had disappeared for several days. But then, …" She remembered what had happened in the diner right before the surprise party started.

"Luke called and clued me in, Mom," soothed Rory. "Let's just have fun, OK?"

They walked into the dining room and Lorelai noticed Emily's excitement as the crowd greeted Rory.

Shoving him toward the kitchen, she told Logan, "Go in here. Luke's there. You don't want to be around Emily right now."

A little surprised to see 'the next boyfriend who wasn't good enough for Rory' and a little beyond tipsy, a tipsy Luke grabbed him by the shoulders and proudly announced, "Here's the little prick who's dating my stepdaughter."

A roar of laughter from the men was followed by Bootsy shouting, "Hello, little prick!" which caused the men to laugh even more.

Trying to save face, Logan reached into his jacket and pulled out a rather large flask. "Fun flask, anyone?" he offered.

Everyone froze, stared at him until he began to feel uncomfortable. Then Sal elbowed Jackson to the side, revealing a table with over a dozen fifths of liquor and a bucket of beer.

Sal bellowed with laughter as Logan's face turned three shades of red. "Fun flask! He brings us a fun flask!" He grabbed the flask and tossed it on the table. "C'mon, kid, let's get you a real drink."

* * *

Ever since she saw that Rory had come into the room, Emily had tried to escape her table, but had been prevented by Gypsy and Miss Patty.

"Rory!" she called affectionately. "Come see your grandmother! I miss my sweet little Yalie."

"No, thanks, Grandma," she answered coldly from several feet away. "I'm over here with my friends. We're celebrating Mom's and Luke's wedding."

"Oh, that," she dismissed drunkenly. "That is just like your mother. I get her filthy diner owner to go back to her and she overreacts by marrying him. But that's Lorelai! She always has to take the drama queen path. I suppose divorce court comes next."

Lorelai, shocked at Emily's lack of self-restraint in public, stepped back behind the curtain. Opening her cell phone she dials. "Dad? Mom's here at Luke's. She's too drunk to drive. Can you come pick her up?"

A pause. "Uh-huh, no, she can't spend the night with me. I'll just put her in a taxi." After another second or two, "OK, I'll see you in half an hour. Thanks, Dad."

Lorelai re-entered the dining room just in time to hear Rory say, "I was with Dad the whole night. You put him up to that! You broke them up! Dad feels like a fool, the way you used him!"

"How dare you talk to your grandmother that way? You come to this town and you become just like her! No manners, no sense of propriety!"

"Grandma! That's enough! Mom said she was done with you, but I'm done too! I don't want to speak with you anymore!"

"You have to speak with me! We're still paying for Yale! You have to come to Friday Night Dinner!"

Rory held her ground, arms crossed. "Fine! I'll be there! But I don't agree with you, and I'm not going to let you run all over me anymore."

Emily scoffed, tossing her head. "Just like your mother. That's a big mistake. Her biggest mistake was running away from home, and now her second biggest mistake was marrying this hirsute lumberjack! Every one of your mistakes always has to do with this town and the buffoons who live here!"

The dining room had gone perfectly still, which captured Luke's attention and he was at Lorelai's side in a heartbeat.

Rory pulled her shoulders back and stretched up to her full height, a good head taller than her grandmother.

"It's a shame to hear you say that, Grandma, because when I look at it, the two best things Mom ever did was move to Stars Hollow and marry Luke." Rory turned and joined Logan in the kitchen.

Emily charged Lorelai, stopping just inches from her face. "I know what's behind this! It's you! You've been trying to take Rory away from us forever! You never wanted us in her life!"

Lorelai shook Luke's hands from her arms. "I got this, babe," she said calmly.

"Mom, Rory has her own relationship with you. She's an adult, she makes her own decisions. When she was a child I wanted her to know her grandparents. I wanted her to have a relationship with you, and if she chooses otherwise, it's on you."

"You never wanted me. I'm loud, and irreverent, and yes, I've never been happier than when I'm in Stars Hollow. If that makes me a buffoon, then that's just one word you haven't used to insult me with yet."

"That's a lie! We wanted you!"

"You wanted me, all right. You wanted me to be quiet, to have a smaller head, to not play with the toys I got for Christmas because they were too valuable."

"You wanted me to behave at cotillion, to be like Mitzi, to be like Tammy, to be like anyone except Lorelai Gilmore!"

"You wanted me to be gone when you had your parties, except for the five minutes you paraded me around in a taffeta dress. You wanted me to be with the nanny while you and Dad went to Europe."

"You wanted me to flirt with the right boys, to tease them, but not to touch them. You didn't even teach me about birth control! I learned it from television, where no one talked about condoms that could break!"

"Everything changed when the stick turned pink. Everything changed again when I came to Stars Hollow. And everything changed when I met Luke Danes."

"He is Stars Hollow. He sees Lorelai Gilmore, and accepts Lorelai Gilmore. I never had to be anything but who I am, and become who I wanted to be. He was there, along with Babette, and Miss Patty and Sookie, and Mia, and everyone in this whole town who welcomed me as family, and cared for me and Rory throughout our lives."

"You never wanted me, Mom, and now you get your wish. I'm not there for you anymore. You can't berate me, or tell me the man I love is anything less than the forgiving, loving, amazing, gruff person that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with."

"And I'm letting you win one last time. There's one prediction you had for me that is going to come true right now."

Lorelai reached over to the nearest table and picked up the ketchup dispenser. "Welcome to my wedding reception, Mom. The bride walks down the aisle with a ketchup dispenser in her hand." She tucked her hand into the crook of Luke's elbow, then walked him over to Emily.

"Andrew, if you please," she said.

Andrew jumped in front of them, snapping pictures like crazy while Emily stood there, mouth gaping like a fish.

"Nice that we've got someone from Hartford in the picture," he said amiably. "My girlfriend's sister writes the gossip part of the Hartford Courant's society page. She'll love a photo of mother and daughter at the wedding reception."

"There you go, Mom. Not only did I have the exact wedding reception you figured for me, but all of your friends will see that I've finally become a respectable married woman, roadkill and all."

She turned and kissed her astonished husband, then looked one last time at the woman she would no longer call at all, much less call her mother. "Dad's outside. Unlock the door, Lane. We've got a marriage to celebrate and we don't want to waste any more time on people who aren't worth it!"

 _FIN_

* * *

A/N: No mother-daughter reconciliation chapter coming up. Emily simply went too far.


End file.
